We were having late-night girl talk at her apartment; I was, of course, talking and she was patiently listening to me babble on and on. As you may have already guessed we were discussing dating and the potential prospects in our futures.
When it comes to dating I often find myself speeding ahead so far in my mind, that sometimes I'm already trying to decide whether I want to marry the guy before I even decide whether to go on a date with him. I know, this is a terrible mind set...Elder Oaks even addressed it in his talk entitled, "Dating Versus Hanging Out" If you've never heard it or read it, you should.
(http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=ca5be2270ed6c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1)
As I was splurting out the thorough analysis I had performed on a current dating/hang out dynamic I'm in...Vanessa kindly interrupted me to share this "Pearl of Wisdom" (as I like to call it). The conversation went something like this...
"Shann, this may be sort of a weird analogy, but hear me out....you know 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure'?"
"Yeah."
"Well, Bill and Ted try to recruit VanHalen before they even learn how to play the guitar. I think you may be trying to recruit VanHalen before you've learned to play the guitar...?"
Suddenly a light went on! Her simple advice from Bill & Ted's was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment and rang so true that it has stuck with me. In fact, I shared this with one of my roommates (we'll call her Bessi) who analyzes dating relationships almost exactly the same way I do, and Bessi found it just as enlightening. We are constantly reminding ourselves to stop trying to recruit VanHalen. We get so ahead of ourselves that we miss out on enjoying the moment!
I'm so glad that Vanessa knew what wisdom was contained within the cinematic masterpiece that is "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure", and passed it on to me. With that...I would like to share one more tidbit from one of the greatest films of our generation...
Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: Party on, dudes!
8 comments:
The other day, Bessi told me that this was the best advice she had be given in a long time.
No, but really -- it is.
For those of us who fumble through life constantly trying to recruit Van Halen, it's refreshing (and necessary) to be reminded to slow down and just relax.
"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are and why."
Party on, dudes!
Who is this "Bessi" character I'm hearing so much about? Is this a secret code of which I am not a part? I've been playing mental cherades trying to figure it out: sounds like..... but no, I got nothin. My only hope is to one day be included in all your secret mumbo jumbo.
And to Vanessa~ you said exactly what needed to be said at exactly the right time. That's a true friend.
On a personal note, I'd like to remind Shanna and her mystery friend, Bessi, that once upon a time after a first date with a guy, I thought he had some annoying tendencies. (ie "Yay!") Whether or not I married this guy is not the point. The point is this: good thing there was a second date.
Dating is hard. I don't miss it one bit. Things don't ever really change though, even after you do find your one and only. I think it's human nature to constantly worry or anticipate what is to come. I think it is wise indeed to not recruit VanHalen. But,how many of us truly live in the moment?? I struggle with this on a daily basis. Glad to know there are others out there just like me! :) I guess this life is a "Most Excellent Adventure" if we allow ourselves to enjoy it.
P.S. Shanna, you are totally rad.
As for recruiting......I know nothing.
However, I think if you get caught up in the what-if's you will talk yourself right out of something good; or on the flip side, right into something not so great. It is hard though!!!!! Just go into a relationship or even on a date with an open mind and see where it takes you. Don't do the driving before you are even behind the wheel, let alone have the car!
BTW--I have never seen this "Excellent Adventure" however the Van Halen reference has peaked my interest.
GASP! Emily...you need to see it! ASAP! Maybe we should all have a grand movie night together and watch it. How excellent would that be?
I love, LOVE it!!! Who knew that the words of Bill and Ted, spoken long ago, would re-surface in our lives and hold such valuable insight. Hats off to you Bill and Ted. We salute you. Hats off to Shanna and Bessi (whom I MUST meet), for passing it on to those less enlightened. And hats off to you Emily, for possibly considering going down to the video store and resurrecting the movie. You won't be dissapointed.
Take care all. I need to go and practice my guitar. Anyone want to join my band?
Shanna, I totally hope I am not just butting into your personal life!
But, I am wondering if you are looking for someone to 'recruit' for you? If so, let me know. I know a really cute, single guy. RM, educated, hillarious, 28. Lives in Vegas. :)
BY THE WAY, I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT A COMMENT YOU MADE LAST NIGHT... HOW ONCE YOU POST A NEW BLOG, YOU HAVE AT LEAST 2 WEEKS TO COME UP WITH ANOTHER ONE. I DISAGREE. BECAUSE THAT IS 13 DAYS OF TORTURE FOR THE REST OF US.
Post a Comment